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the eighth day

September 28, 2010

A Choc-o-holics' Dream

One for real addicts: how long would it take for you to eat it?

Posted by gary at 08:44 PM | Comments (0)

May 12, 2010

Some Science Fun

Fake science, really.

Posted by gary at 04:20 PM | Comments (0)

September 30, 2009

Honest Questions

Two kids are on their way to Sunday school when one says to the other, "What do you think about this Satan stuff?"
"Well, you remember Santa? This could turn out to be your dad too."

Posted by gary at 11:34 AM | Comments (0)

April 21, 2009

Preach it brother!

(or is that sister?)

Posted by gary at 08:54 PM | Comments (0)

March 17, 2009

When the Camera Angle Matters

These photos are creatively composed - the camera angle makes all the difference!

Posted by gary at 10:00 PM | Comments (0)

March 09, 2009

Tree Power

How Autumn works...

Posted by gary at 08:29 AM | Comments (2)

July 09, 2008

A Priest's Job Promotion

A Catholic priest and a rabbi were chatting one day when the conversation turned to a discussion of job descriptions and promotions.
"What do you have to look forward to in terms of being promoted?" asked the rabbi.
"Well, I'm next in line for the Monsignor's job," replied the priest.
"Yes, and then what?" asked the rabbi.
"Well, next I can become a bishop."
"Yes, and then?"
"If I work real hard and do a good job as bishop, it's possible for me to become an archbishop."
"OK, then what?"
Exasperated, the priest replied, "With some luck and real hard work, maybe I can become a cardinal."
"And then?"
Growing angry, the priest responded, "Well, with lots and lots of luck and some real difficult work, if I'm in the right places at the right times and play my political games just right, maybe, just maybe, I can get elected Pope."
"Yes, and then what?"
"Good grief!" shouted the priest. "What do you expect me to become, GOD?"
"Well," responded the rabbi, "One of our boys made it!"

Posted by gary at 11:31 AM | Comments (0)

April 27, 2008

Geelong Footballers

Why do Geelong footballers still carry handbags?
Because it isn't safe to put their money into Geelong investment banks!

Posted by gary at 11:12 AM | Comments (0)

February 12, 2008

In case you missed Sunday School

THE STORY OF ELIJAH
The Sunday school teacher was carefully explaining the story of Elijah the Prophet and the false prophets of Baal. She explained how Elijah built the altar, put wood upon it, cut a steer in pieces, and laid it upon the altar. And then, Elijah commanded the people of God to fill four barrels of water and pour it over the altar. He had them do this four times
"Now," asked the teacher, "Can anyone in the class tell me why the Lord would have Elijah pour water over the steer on the altar?"
A little girl in the back of the room started waving her hand, "I know! I know!" she said, "To make the gravy!"

LOT'S WIFE
The Sunday School teacher was describing how Lot 's wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt, when little Jason interrupted, "My Mummy looked back once, while she was driving," he announced triumphantly, "and she turned into a telephone pole!"

GOOD SAMARITAN
A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good Samaritan, in which a man was beaten, robbed and left for dead. She described the situation in vivid detail so her students would catch the drama. Then, she asked the class, "If you saw a person lying on the roadside, all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?"
A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence, "I think I'd throw up."

DID NOAH FISH?
A Sunday school teacher asked, "Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark?"
"No," replied David. "How could he, with just two worms?"

HIGHER POWER
A Sunday school teacher said to her children, "We have been learning how powerful kings and queens were in Bible times. But, there is a higher power. Can anybody tell me what it is?"
One child blurted out, "Aces!"

MOSES AND THE RED SEA
Nine-year-old Joey, was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday school. "Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt When he got to the Red Sea , he had his army build a pontoon bridge and all the people walked across safely. Then, he radioed headquarters for reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites were saved."
"Now, Joey, is that really what your teacher taught you?" his mother asked. "Well, no, Mum. But, if I told it the way the teacher did, you'd never believe it!"

THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD
A Sunday School teacher decided to have her young class memorise one of the most quoted passages in the Bible; Psalm 23. She gave the youngsters a month to learn the verse. Little Rick was excited about the task - but, he just couldn't remember the Psalm. After much practice, he could barely get past the first line. On the day that the kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in front of the congregation, Ricky was so nervous. When it was his turn, he stepped up to the microphone and said proudly, "The Lord is my Shepherd, and that's all I need to know."

CHURCH SMILES
There was a very gracious lady who was mailing an old family Bible to her brother in another part of the country. "Is there anything breakable in here?" asked the postal clerk.
"Only the Ten Commandments," answered the lady.

AMISH CARRIAGE
While driving in Pennsylvania ,a family caught up to an Amish carriage. The owner of the carriage obviously had a sense of humour, because attached to the back of the carriage was a hand printed sign: "Energy efficient vehicle: Runs on oats and grass.
Caution: Do not step in exhaust."

QUILT
Sunday after church, a Mum asked her very young daughter what the lesson was about. The daughter answered, "Don't be scared, you'll get your quilt." Needless to say, the Mum was perplexed. Later in the day, the pastor stopped by for tea and the Mum asked him what that morning's Sunday school lesson was about. He said "Be not afraid, thy comforter is coming."

Posted by gary at 09:57 AM | Comments (0)

January 10, 2008

Why did the Chicken Cross the Road?

Why did the chicken cross the road - or how far can you push an old joke??

DR. PHIL : The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.

OPRAH : Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

GEORGE W. BUSH : We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL : Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...

ANDERSON COOPER - CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

JOHN KERRY : Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

NANCY GRACE : That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN : To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART : No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS : Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY : To die in the rain. Alone.

JERRY FALWELL : Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth?' That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side. That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.

GRANDPA : In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS : Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON : Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

ARISTOTLE : It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

BILL GATES : I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C% ........ reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN : Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON : I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE : I invented the chicken!

COLONEL SANDERS : Did I miss one?

DICK CHENEY : Where's my gun?

AL SHARPTON : Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

Posted by gary at 05:20 PM | Comments (0)

September 15, 2007

Study: Iraqis May Experience Sadness When Friends, Relatives Die

July 25, 2007

CHAPEL HILL, NC - A field study released Monday by the University of North Carolina School of Public Health suggests that Iraqi citizens experience sadness and a sense of loss when relatives, spouses, and even friends perish, emotions that have until recently been identified almost exclusively with Westerners.

An Iraqi study group reacts to a car bombing. Researchers (not pictured) gathered data from a fortified observation booth.

"We were struck by how an Iraqi reacts to the sight of the bloody or decapitated corpse of a family member in a not unlike an American, or at the very least a Canadian, would," said Dr. Jonathan Pryztal, chief author of the study. "In addition to the rage, bloodlust, and hatred we already know to dominate the Iraqi emotional spectrum, it appears that they may have some capacity, however limited, for sadness."

Though Pryztal was quick to add that more detailed analysis is needed, he said the findings cast some doubt on long-held assumptions about human nature in that region.

"Contrary to conventional wisdom, it seems that Iraqis do indeed experience at least minor feelings of grief when a best friend or a grandparent is ripped apart by a car bomb or shot execution style and later unearthed in a shallow mass grave," Prytzal said. "Last December's suicide-bomb killing of 71 Shiites in Baghdad, for example, produced unexpected reactions ranging from crumpled, sobbing despair to silent, dazed shock."

Iraqis have often been observed weeping and wailing in apparent anguish, but the study offers evidence indicating this may not be exclusively an outward expression of anger or a desire for revenge. It also provocatively suggests that this grief can possess an American-like personal quality, and is not simply a tribal lamentation ritual.

An Iraqi mother expressing American-like grief at the loss of her son.

Said Pryztal: "When trying to understand the psychology of the Iraqi citizenry after four years of war, think of a small American town roiled by the death of a well-known high school football player."

According to Pryztal, the intensity of the grief does not diminish if the mourner experiences multiple bereavements over time. "If a woman has already lost one child, the subsequent killings of other children will evoke similar responses," he said. "In the majority of cases we studied, it appeared as though those who lost multiple kids never actually got used to it."

Though Pryztal expects the results of the study may be of some interest to students of Arab psychology, he did concede that the data may not be entirely accurate because it was gathered directly from Iraqis themselves.

"Almost all the Iraqis we interviewed said the war had ruined their lives because of the incalculable loss of friends and family," Pryztal said. "But to be totally honest, these types of studies can be skewed rather easily by participant exaggeration."

Psychologists and anthropologists have thus far largely discounted the study, claiming it has the same bias as a 1971 Stanford University study that concluded that many Vietnamese showed signs of psychological trauma from nearly a quarter century of continuous war in southeast Asia.

"We are, in truth, still a long way from determining if Iraqis are exhibiting actual, U.S.-grade sadness," Mayo Clinic neuropsychologist Norman Blum said. "At present, we see no reason for the popular press to report on Iraqi emotions as if they are real."

Pryztal said that his research group would next examine whether children in Sudan prefer playing with toys or serving as guerrilla fighters and killing innocent civilians.

...gotta love The Onion

Posted by gary at 12:40 AM | Comments (1)

September 07, 2007

Sponsored kids unionize for better terms

CHESAPEAKE, Va. - John Randall and family recently received a letter from their sponsor child in Honduras. But instead of offering an update and gratitude for their continued support, 11-year-old Maria Salvador told them she was boycotting them.
"She said it was nothing personal, but her sponsor child union wanted better terms," says Becky Randall, 34. "She asked us to please remove her photograph from the refrigerator and cease all communication with her until the strike is resolved."
In a new wrinkle for child sponsor ministries, sponsor children in several countries have united to demand better terms. They are asking for $45 a month, up from the standard $28, plus a 7 percent annual increase, new uniforms, better medical care and more frequent gift packages from sponsors.
"American sponsor organizations can't exist without us, and we want a better deal," says one child union representative.
The strike organizers are mostly older teens who grew up in sponsor programs, but have been influenced by resurgent socialist movements in South America. The newly created Union of Sponsored Children is demanding that Americans "pay a fair price" for the "privilege of supporting the children of the revolutionary worker-citizens of South America."
One girl, Carlota Garcia, 12, of Venezuela says she was always happy with the gift packages that included dolls, hair bows and school supplies from her sponsor family. But after attending a union rally she now believes she has not been getting her fair share.
"We deserve better," she says. "We aren't pets that will be happy with cheap toys."
The Allen family of Pittsburgh, Pa., was bewildered to learn about the boycott from their sponsor child, Guillermo Montez, 9, of Bolivia.
"Our kids cried a bit when we got the cease and desist letter," says father Jeremy. "I had to tell them it was just business, and we'd get Guillermo back when the strike ended."
Jeremy, a former steel worker, says he felt proud that the sponsor kids were unionizing and "seizing their own destiny." He has already complied and is sending $45 a month to Guillermo.
Sponsor organizations are scrambling to negotiate an end to the strike by Christmas, when they sign up the majority of their sponsor families. But the child unions say they will hold out "however long it takes."
Thanks to Lark News

Posted by gary at 08:52 PM | Comments (1)

August 31, 2007

Taking Faith Healing Too Far

A faith healer asked Moshe how his family was getting along. "They're all fine," Moshe said, "Except my uncle. He's very sick."
"Your uncle is not sick," the faith healer said. "He THINKS he's sick."
Two weeks later, the faith healer ran into Moshe on the street. "How is your uncle getting along?" he asked.
Moshe shrugged, "He THINKS he's dead."

Posted by gary at 07:10 AM | Comments (0)

April 15, 2007

Eco-friendly paper planes

Build your own prototype here.
And they don't hit your neighbour... although that might be half the fun!

Posted by gary at 04:04 PM | Comments (0)

April 04, 2007

New Technology

Try this on for size: The Apple iRack

Posted by gary at 04:35 PM | Comments (0)

February 06, 2007

The Knack

OK, so I am having a bit of fun with videos lately... this one is great! Dilbert has "The Knack"... destined to be an engineer, and socially inept.

Is this like having "the gift"... being a wonderful preacher, but socially inept, unable to communicate except to large crowds while standing behind a pulpit and spitting into the first two rows?

Posted by gary at 08:22 PM | Comments (0)

December 08, 2006

A New Take...

Removing the blog

With thanks to Matt Glover

Posted by gary at 12:18 PM | Comments (0)

June 01, 2006

Exercise for those over 45

For those who are approaching their golden years... this might be helpful. Here is an exercise suggested for adults over 45 and seniors, to build muscle strength in the arms and shoulders. It seems so easy, so I thought I'd pass it on. Just don't over-do it.
Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side. With a 5kg potato sack in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides, and hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute, then relax.
Each day, you'll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer.
After a couple of weeks, move up to 10kg potato sacks, then 50kg potato sacks, and eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100kg potato sack in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute.
After you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each of the sacks.

Posted by gary at 06:58 PM | Comments (0)

May 15, 2006

Clearing up misconceptions about Christianity (1)

original link

Jesus
Jesus H. Christ (1-33 C.E.) invented Christianity during a Spring Break road trip to Jerusalem in the company of his friends. Jerusalem, though, had been the site of severe Spring Break disturbances during the previous year, and the local authorities took a dim view of anyone starting a new religion.

Beyond the fact that Christians really, really like him, scholars, historians, and professional athletes can agree on little else. Some maintain that Jesus was a secular revolutionary who never intended to found a religion; others that Jesus was perfectly conscious of his mission, and that the Bible is a reliable guide to his earthly ministry. Others go very far in their rejection of traditional Christian interpretations of Jesus, to the point of suggesting he never existed; still others, confusingly, insist that Jesus did exist, we're just not aware of it yet. And finally others say his name wasn't Jesus at all, but rather Josh.

Here are thumbnail views of what the major Christian denominations believe about Jesus:

THE ORTHODOX believe that Jesus is both God and Son of God, fully God and fully human, coeternal with the other two Persons of the Trinity, and that his death on the cross provides the means by which human beings can attain salvation.

CATHOLICS believe pretty much the same thing as the Orthodox, but add that Jesus has chosen the pope to be team captain.

LUTHERANS believe pretty much the same thing as the Orthodox, but believe that under no circumstances would Jesus ever choose a creep like the pope to be team captain.

UNITARIANS believe Jesus was a dedicated social worker; the first feminist; the first environmentalist; the first advocate of tolerance between all human beings; who nonetheless managed to enrage the Roman government to the point where it killed him by nailing him to a tree.

ANGLICANS believe essentially what Catholics, Orthodox, and Lutherans believe, but argue that if God did choose a team captain, it probably would have been C.S. Lewis.

FUNDAMENTALISTS believe that everything God wanted us to do is spelled out in easy to understand detail in the book he wrote, except the part about the Eucharist, which was obviously a case of God being a bit fanciful.

THE AMISH believe that it's time to stop making fun of them for riding in horse-drawn buggies instead of cars, and point out that the Mennonites are much bigger bunch of tools.

METHODISTS believe that the Wesley Brothers wrote such awesome songs it necessitated secession from the Church of England.

PURITANS believe you're going to hell, and they're kind of happy about it.

THE JUSTICE LEAGE OF AMERICA believes the Joker will stop at nothing to rob Gotham Central Bank, and fears he has enlisted Lex Luthor to help him.

Posted by gary at 07:20 AM | Comments (0)

March 31, 2006

Stick Figures

This is absolutely worth a look.

Posted by gary at 07:36 PM | Comments (0)

March 23, 2006

Sacrifice

A comment by one athlete at the Commonwealth Games shocked our eldest son. Having just won the gold medal for long jump, the athlete commented that she had gone without chocolate for ten years for this moment. That was enough for my son - that sort of sacrifice was just too much - even for a gold medal!

Posted by gary at 08:54 AM | Comments (0)

March 17, 2006

The Best Irish Joke

In honour of St Patrick's Day, my eldest son, who is on the cusp of his teenage years, emerged this morning with the following joke:

News reports are coming in of Ireland's worst air tragedy. A two-seater Cessna crashed into the Dublin cemetery when its pilot inexplicably lost control. The scene is a disaster. Rescue crews have so far dug up 744 bodies, with the death count expected to go even higher...

Not bad for a 12-year-old!

Posted by gary at 10:37 AM | Comments (0)

March 02, 2006

Bush at the Roast

This is clever... something like Dave?

Posted by gary at 07:32 PM | Comments (0)

March 01, 2006

Distractions

Smack the Penguin
What happens to 500kv when you unplug it...
Try painting your home this way.
Find out what Google thinks of you, your friends or anything. (Don't get disheartened!)
Looking for an old version of software?

Posted by gary at 06:19 PM | Comments (0)

February 28, 2006

Get yourself a virtual dog

No mess... but I'm not sure whether he is CPU-trained!

Posted by gary at 10:57 AM | Comments (0)

February 24, 2006

To make a sermon interesting...

bingo.jpg

And I wonder what 'buzzwords' we would include if preparing a 5x5 for sermons in church today?

(cartoon originally published 19 Feb 2006)

Posted by gary at 07:14 AM | Comments (0)

February 22, 2006

Great Mysteries

How come when you mix water and flour together you get glue ... and then you add eggs and sugar and you get cake? Where does the glue go?

Posted by gary at 11:00 PM | Comments (0)

February 05, 2006

Another time waster

So you think you are handy with a mouse (or trackball). Try this! If you can stay in the game for 18 seconds, you are a master!

Posted by gary at 06:02 PM | Comments (0)

February 03, 2006

Some fun....

Here's some fun sites to visit.

Just be aware: they may not be all they seem!

Hand-Eye Co-ordination Test
Tired of Living on Earth? Build Your Own Island! - the link now works!
Who said that? This one is a must - you'll be a little taken aback.
New Windows edition

Posted by gary at 07:14 AM | Comments (3)

January 30, 2006

Create a text image from your pictures

Here's some creative fun - turn your pictures into colourful zeroes and ones.

An example:
flower

Posted by gary at 06:45 PM | Comments (1)

January 28, 2006

Only in Queensland?!

Can't verify the veracity of this one, but worthy of passing on anyway...
This story happened a while ago in Brisbane, and even though it sounds Like an Alfred Hitchcock tale, it's true.
John Bradford, a Sydney University student, was on the side of the road hitch hiking on a very dark night and in the midst of a storm. The night was rolling on and no car went by. The storm was so strong he could hardly see a few feet ahead of him. Suddenly he saw a car, slowly coming towards him and stopped. John, desperate for shelter and without thinking about it, got in the car and closed the door, just to realize there was nobody behind the wheel and the engine wasn't on! The car started moving slowly.
John looked at the road and saw a curve approaching. Scared, he started to pray, begging for his life. Then, just before he hit the curve, a hand appeared through the window and turned the wheel. John, paralysed with terror, watched how the hand appeared every time they came to a curve.
John saw the lights of a pub down the road so, gathering strength, jumped out of the car and ran to it. Wet and out of breath, he rushed inside and asked for two shots of tequila. He then started telling everybody about the horrible experience he went through.
A silence enveloped everybody when they realized he was crying and....wasn't drunk. About 15 minutes later, two guys walked into the same pub. They were also wet and out of breath. Looking around and seeing John Bradford sobbing at the bar, one said to the other, "Look, Bruce. Here's the idiot that got in the car while we were pushing it."

Posted by gary at 05:15 PM | Comments (0)

January 23, 2006

Study the Horse

Ancient wisdom says that when you discover you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount. However in organisations we often try many other strategies, including the following:
1. Changing riders
2. Buying a stronger whip
3. Appointing a committee to study the horse
4. Arranging a visit to other sites to see how they ride dead horses
5. Increasing the standards for riding dead horses
6. Creating training sessions to improve riding skills
7. Comparing the state of dead horses in today's environment
8. Changing the requirements so that the horse no longer meets the standards of death
9. Hiring an outside consultant to show how dead horses can be ridden
10. Increasing funding to improve the horses performance
11. Declaring that no horse is too dead to beat.
I classified this as humour, which only goes to further establish the point that the best humour is always grounded in truth!

Posted by gary at 10:18 PM | Comments (0)

January 11, 2006

After some creative images?

If you want to see some very creative photo quality images, head over to Worth100.com.

Posted by gary at 03:23 PM | Comments (0)

January 03, 2006

Top 10 Stories of 2005

Satirical Magazine The Onion has released its top 10 stories from 2005:

1. Bush Elected President of Iraq
2. Asian Tsunami, Hurricane Katrina, Kashmir Earthquake Battle For Natural Disasty Award
3. Pope Died As He Lived: Propped Up For Public Viewing
4. North Korea Nukes Self In Desparate Plea For Attention
5. Brain-Dead Americans Defend Brain-Dead Florida Woman
6. Prince Charles Weds Longtime Horse
7. Losing SuperBowl Team Gets Locker-Room Condolence Call From John Kerry
8. Theory Of Intelligent School-Board Design Disproven
9. White House Celebrates Fifth Straight Year Without Oral Sex
10. Pitt, Aniston To Quietly Separate

Posted by gary at 03:40 PM | Comments (0)

November 11, 2005

How much caffeine?

OK, you are sitting up late at night, finalising that sermon/essay/creative worship piece, and struggling to stay awake. You are pumping in the caffeine in your favourite style, and you wonder what it's doing to your system... OK, so you aren't wondering. But did you realise it can kill you.

I'd have to be careful as I took in my intake of Coke pushed past 380, because death would be very near. Never mind the fact that it would be morning anyway and I'd probably be well and truly finished.

The more powerful stuff would finish me off earlier... and I'd be in bed with all things done!

Check out the death-by-caffeine calculator.

Posted by gary at 11:26 AM | Comments (0)

November 08, 2005

OK, so I am unusual

... and proud of it!!

Check yourself out...

Are you usual, or unusual??

Posted by gary at 01:33 PM | Comments (0)

July 14, 2005

Don't trust the packaging!!

OK, I'm about to confess to something embarrassing yet entirely understandable... About two years ago, while attending the first service in the new building for Central Chinese Baptist Church, I managed to score a special prize. I can't remember how I qualified for it, but was given a wrapped gift. I unwrapped it to reveal a pristine container marked "hot-sync cradle for Palm ..." Not having a palm pilot at the time, I put it to one side, even considering who I might give it to.

That was two years ago (or more!)

In the last week a dear friend who upgraded their own palm passed on their old one. After fiddling for a while, my memory was jogged in relation to this lovely box - still unopened - sitting in a cupboard. I retrieved the box and opened it up, only to find something which might be useful for doing a hot-sync with one's palm pilot, but not in the direct manner. It contained a glass coffee mug! A good cup of coffee might be helpful during the process (although it does not take that long), but it won't make it happen.

Never judge a book by its cover. Or a gift by its box.

OK, you can stop laughing....

Posted by gary at 08:59 PM | Comments (0)

April 03, 2005

What Country are you?

Have to categorise this one as humour... hate to think what this result says about me!


You're Vatican City!
You're pretty sure that you're infallible in all that you do or say, and it's hard to say whether you're right.  You have a lot of followers, most of whom will do whatever you say without question, or line up to see you ride around in your spiffy car.  Religious and reserved, you have some wisdom, but also a bit much contempt for everyone around you.  You're also fabulously wealthy, no matter what you say to the contrary.
Take the Country Quiz at the Blue Pyramid

Try the test yourself here.

Posted by gary at 11:08 AM | Comments (0)

February 15, 2005

The Job Interview

This is one worth passing on...

The job interview went extremely well, but the applicant had an unfortunate tic which caused the interviewer to hesitate in offering the job. A salesman with such a tic was of dubious value. Aware of the problem, the applicant drew his attention to it: "I know I have a problem with my eye. It winks involuntarily, but I can fix it."

With that, the young man reached into his pocket and emptied the contents onto the desk in front of him: eight condoms and a packet of aspirin.

"I'm sorry," said the interviewer, "We cannot tolerate a culture of sexual promiscuity in our work environment."

"No," said the applicant, "it's not what it appears. The aspirin will stop the tic, but have you ever tried to ask a chemist for aspirin while you are winking?"

Posted by gary at 07:00 PM | Comments (0)

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