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The Guardian recently reproduced the text of a summarised bible, authorised by the Church of England, in which the text is reduced to fewer than 400 words. Crace has adopted and adapted the story format, using some interesting and quaint (from an Australian perspective) British expressions. Some of it sounds a little sarcastic/cynical along the way. It is interesting that he truncates the story with the ascension of Jesus.
The church has endeavoured to summarise the bible many times throughout history: witness the creeds and church doctrinal statements which litter its pages. Crace's use of the narrative form is to be commended.
In 378 words, what would you consider important/essential and what would you deem less relevant? When you've made up your mind, check out the text of Crace's bible in the extended entry.
Here is John Crace's Bible in 378 words:
God created heaven and earth in six days. He then made Adam, quickly followed by Eve when he saw that Adam was bored. Their descendants proved a real disappointment, so he flooded the world and started again.
But God continued to have a lot of problems. Abraham was OK, but Jacob cheated on his brother and Joseph was such a prima donna that his brothers sold him into slavery. Moses tried to lay down the law but it took an almighty strop for anyone to notice. Joshua killed a lot of people; so did Gideon; in fact most of the judges and kings were lying psychopaths. Understandably the Jewish people needed to relax, so they sang psalms to the tune of Kumbaya.
Back in the action and it was still looking grim. A few grumpy prophets apart, it was bloodletting on a grand scale all the way. Things improved when an angel got Mary pregnant in 1BC. Joseph was very understanding about this and nine months later Jesus was born. Various shepherds and wise men paid their respects before Jesus was whisked out of town to escape Herod. He spent the next 30 years chilling out before beginning his ministry when John the Baptist was arrested. Jesus tried to avoid publicity but it was hard to keep a low profile when he was pulling off stunts like raising the dead. So it wasn't long before he collected some disciples, and from these he chose his main crew, the apostles.
Much of Jesus' teaching was captured when he spoke about the meaning of humility during the Sermon on the Mount. Apart from forgiving sins, he also said that anyone who divorces and remarries commits adultery. These views made him extremely unpopular, but calling himself the Messiah was the last straw. When he rode into Jerusalem on Palm Sunday he knew his days were numbered. On the Thursday night he was betrayed by Judas and taken before Pontius Pilate, who offered the Jews a chance to reprieve him. They refused and he was crucified and buried. He rose from the dead on Easter Sunday. Jesus reassured his followers he was for real and over the next 40 days he made a number of other appearances before going up to heaven.
Posted by gary at October 19, 2005 08:20 PM
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